this is the official end of my Zambia blog, since i'm not there anymore. this will still be up and accessible, but i am starting a new blog as of today. click below to check it out.
my new blog
Monday, May 5, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
thoughts
i took a run this morning, because there are lots of excuses for me to not run here and i heard myself say quite a few times this week, 'i can't run here'. as soon as i say something like that, i always hear my dad's voice in my head saying, 'can't never did anything', in that gently challenging way that makes you want to get off your butt and at least try. my lungs were hurting, my ears were ringing, and it was the best run i've had since i've been here. part of it is that i have more confidence to just run and not be intimidated by my surroundings(wild dogs, staring people, rough terrain, snakes). i did a big loop, but gave myself permission to stop and walk just before the hill back up to the center. maybe i will be able to take the hill next time, but at least i ran. this is an approach to life that i have embraced over the last ten years. accepting that there are days when all i can manage is a meandering pace, but as long as i'm still moving, i'm doing ok. i think we have to allow ourselves those days. during one of the toughest years of my life, i read a book by Ann Kiemel called 'I'm Running to Win'. the book was about her experience training for a marathon. this was before my marathon years, but someone told me it was a good take on life and they were right. the story that impacted me most was about an injury she had during her training. she was badly hurt and couldn't run for a while, but she was determined to do something, so she just walked as far as she could. she said sometimes doing our best is just doing what we can at the moment. that was definitely applicable to my life and walk with God at the time. i was badly injured, but determined not to quit. that inspired a song i wrote called Strength. a line in it says, 'there are days when doing my best is just to drag around and not give in and try to be faithful and remember what i know...' i'm grateful that this is not my state of life at the moment. most days, i feel more like i could run further than i ever have, spiritually and emotionally speaking. i feel like my time here has been strength training for whatever lies ahead and that excites me.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
happy birthday to me...
so, i had to do something to make myself feel like i am not getting older. i went on a microlight flight over Victoria Falls with my pilot friend Heiko. it was amazing!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
school & sponsorship
Most of my time over the last several weeks has been spent visiting the families of the students that we have sponsored to go to our school. The school was originally started for children who would otherwise not have the opportunity to go to school. It has turned into one of the best schools in Livingstone and there is a very long waiting list of people who want to get their children enrolled here. One of the things that makes this school stand out is small class sizes. In many of the schools here in Livingstone, there are 50 to 60 children in a class. Out in the rural areas, there could be up to 100 in a class. Often they don’t have desks, they sit on the floor, and they don’t always have books or supplies.
At Rainbow’s school in Livingstone there are around 450 students from pre-school to Grade 9 and about half of them are sponsored by someone in the UK or U.S. Education is not free here and consequently many children do not go to school. Children who are orphaned are especially vulnerable to situations where it is impossible for them to attend school. For 40 dollars per month, you can give a child the opportunity to get an education and in many cases help to meet the basic needs of the child and the family. Healthcare is also provided for many of the children that we sponsor and there are quite a few cases here where the child would not be alive if they had not been sponsored through Rainbow.
In Zambia, children have to pass a test at the end of Grade 7 in order to continue their education. If they go on through Grade 9, they have to pass a test to move on to secondary school and complete Grade 12. They also have to pass a test at the end of Grade 12 in order to complete their education. This past school year was the second year that Rainbow has had students in Grade 7 and they had a 100% pass rate both years. Many of the children who passed that exam would not have even been in school if it was not for Rainbow and the individuals who are their sponsors.
In 2006, when I came with a group to work with the children in the school, I returned with pictures of the school and the children. Many people said to me that these children did not look needy. Perhaps they were expecting to see images such as those on the television, but these children are just as desperate. I sat down with one of our grade 8 students today, who is sponsored. Both of her parents died and she had been living with a friend who is also sponsored at our school. Last year, that friend’s parents also died. So now they are staying with an Aunt and it is a very difficult situation. She just sat with me and cried. Life is very hard for these children and I am so grateful that I have been able to work with an organization that is giving them hope.
We also sponsor children in Muzoka where the conditions are much worse and the situations even more desperate. There is little if any opportunity for work in that area and there are many more people dying everyday from HIV/AIDS and other diseases. Sponsoring a child in Muzoka means more than an education for that child, it means giving them and the family what they need to continue to live. There are over 1,000 orphans in this area desperate for someone to help.
I have been sponsoring children since my visit here in 2001. Christopher on the left, is in our preschool in Livingstone and I've had the pleasure of watching him grow over the past seven months. Munwato(not pictured) is in our preschool in Muzoka. She is an orphan and not only did both of her parents die, but the granny who was caring for her was hit by a car and killed while carrying Munwato on her back. Lewis and Annie, who work for us in Muzoka, found Munwato when she was very close to death from HIV. Thanks to their care and advice to her guardians, she is doing very well now. I met her in August and asked if I could sponsor her.
As always, to learn more about Rainbow and child sponsorship go to www.rainbowafrica.org .
At Rainbow’s school in Livingstone there are around 450 students from pre-school to Grade 9 and about half of them are sponsored by someone in the UK or U.S. Education is not free here and consequently many children do not go to school. Children who are orphaned are especially vulnerable to situations where it is impossible for them to attend school. For 40 dollars per month, you can give a child the opportunity to get an education and in many cases help to meet the basic needs of the child and the family. Healthcare is also provided for many of the children that we sponsor and there are quite a few cases here where the child would not be alive if they had not been sponsored through Rainbow.
In Zambia, children have to pass a test at the end of Grade 7 in order to continue their education. If they go on through Grade 9, they have to pass a test to move on to secondary school and complete Grade 12. They also have to pass a test at the end of Grade 12 in order to complete their education. This past school year was the second year that Rainbow has had students in Grade 7 and they had a 100% pass rate both years. Many of the children who passed that exam would not have even been in school if it was not for Rainbow and the individuals who are their sponsors.
In 2006, when I came with a group to work with the children in the school, I returned with pictures of the school and the children. Many people said to me that these children did not look needy. Perhaps they were expecting to see images such as those on the television, but these children are just as desperate. I sat down with one of our grade 8 students today, who is sponsored. Both of her parents died and she had been living with a friend who is also sponsored at our school. Last year, that friend’s parents also died. So now they are staying with an Aunt and it is a very difficult situation. She just sat with me and cried. Life is very hard for these children and I am so grateful that I have been able to work with an organization that is giving them hope.
We also sponsor children in Muzoka where the conditions are much worse and the situations even more desperate. There is little if any opportunity for work in that area and there are many more people dying everyday from HIV/AIDS and other diseases. Sponsoring a child in Muzoka means more than an education for that child, it means giving them and the family what they need to continue to live. There are over 1,000 orphans in this area desperate for someone to help.
I have been sponsoring children since my visit here in 2001. Christopher on the left, is in our preschool in Livingstone and I've had the pleasure of watching him grow over the past seven months. Munwato(not pictured) is in our preschool in Muzoka. She is an orphan and not only did both of her parents die, but the granny who was caring for her was hit by a car and killed while carrying Munwato on her back. Lewis and Annie, who work for us in Muzoka, found Munwato when she was very close to death from HIV. Thanks to their care and advice to her guardians, she is doing very well now. I met her in August and asked if I could sponsor her.
As always, to learn more about Rainbow and child sponsorship go to www.rainbowafrica.org .
Friday, February 22, 2008
dad in Zambia
my daddy came to visit last month. it was his first trip overseas and we had such a great time. it's amazing to see someone at age 69 still so moldable in the Hands of God.
this is him sharing on Sunday morning in Muzoka. we didn't get to spend much time there, but that is a whole story of its own. i don't have any pics of him in the school, but he had the most fun talking to classes at our school in Livingstone. he is a great teacher, very motivating and inspiring.
we went to Victoria Falls on his first full day here. i was amazed at how well he adjusted, especially since he had never experienced jetlag like that before. it rained most of the time he was here and the Falls were full, which means you get really wet. 
we had proper English high tea one afternoon at the five-star hotel, The Royal Livingstone. it was great having him around and i was sad when he left.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Muzoka's Children
Muzoka encompasses 37 villages, which combined have more than 1,000 orphans and that number increases everyday. Each time I go there I hear more stories of children who have been left by parents or grandparents who have died. Then there are the children who are HIV+ and as Lewis who works for us there says, ‘they are silently suffering and quietly dying’.
There is a little girl who has become my buddy, Munwato; she is 5 and HIV+. Her grandmother was caring for her after both parents died. One day she was carrying Munwato on her back when she was hit by a car and killed. Munwato somehow survived. I was sitting with her caretaker who asked me if she could show me the medicine that Munwato takes for HIV. She brought out a box about the size of 4 large shoe boxes and it was full of meds for the month. I was holding Munwato, who is a tiny little thing and imagining all of this going into her little body. It reminded me of the end of December, 2006. I was sitting on the edge of a hospital bed looking across at one of my longest and best friends and her four year old son. He had cancer and was getting a chemo treatment. I was watching as the nurse came in every fifteen minutes or so to load more meds into his IV. I remember looking at his little body and then at the machine. Then I looked at my friend who was sitting on the end of his bed across from me. With tears in her eyes, she said, ‘this has taught me that my children don’t belong to me, they are just entrusted to me’. And I thought, ‘you are my hero!’ This is why I am so passionate about little ones like Munwato. Who is she entrusted to now? Like so many others I have met, they are left to families who have an abundance of children to care for already and very little if any income.
There is a little girl who has become my buddy, Munwato; she is 5 and HIV+. Her grandmother was caring for her after both parents died. One day she was carrying Munwato on her back when she was hit by a car and killed. Munwato somehow survived. I was sitting with her caretaker who asked me if she could show me the medicine that Munwato takes for HIV. She brought out a box about the size of 4 large shoe boxes and it was full of meds for the month. I was holding Munwato, who is a tiny little thing and imagining all of this going into her little body. It reminded me of the end of December, 2006. I was sitting on the edge of a hospital bed looking across at one of my longest and best friends and her four year old son. He had cancer and was getting a chemo treatment. I was watching as the nurse came in every fifteen minutes or so to load more meds into his IV. I remember looking at his little body and then at the machine. Then I looked at my friend who was sitting on the end of his bed across from me. With tears in her eyes, she said, ‘this has taught me that my children don’t belong to me, they are just entrusted to me’. And I thought, ‘you are my hero!’ This is why I am so passionate about little ones like Munwato. Who is she entrusted to now? Like so many others I have met, they are left to families who have an abundance of children to care for already and very little if any income.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
the latest
for about two weeks now i have had multiple blogs ready to send, but things rarely ever go the way you plan them here. i have these things typed on my computer and limited access to wireless. since it has been cloudy and raining everyday for the last twelve days, it's difficult to count on the signal. then there is the fun of trying to use my flash drives in internet cafes. like everything else here, that is always hit or miss.
i have been agonizing over this and feel it hanging over my head like i do when i haven't written in my journal or picked up my guitar enough. i have put pressure on myself, as i do, knowing that people want to see pictures and hear stories. in the end, i give into what you must learn in a place like this...less really is more and things that used to seem important just don't matter. life is stripped down here, enough for me to see it for what it really is and care about the things that count.
a friend, whose writing has had a profound impact on my life, gave this advice to me,
"write without editing. write about anything. write with no minimum or maximum expectation." this is a challenge for my anal, perfectionist, daughter of an English teacher self. for the first time in my life i have been sending emails without proofreading them...that is a big deal for me. writing has always been a good outlet, but i find it hard to just lay my heart out there for the whole world to see. it's getting easier.
so, here it is, what has been happening with me; unedited, not planned out, just as it comes.
i have finally started to settle into the lifestyle here in such a way that it feels easier. i am realizing that frustration is something we choose, not something that is forced upon us. it's a choice, like every other ugly attitude that has raised its head in me since i've been here. this is definitely one way to find out what is really in your heart. there is no place to hide from it here and nothing to cover it up. it's all on the surface, because it takes energy to wrestle those monsters down and keep them hidden inside. the daily tasks of living here sap all of that energy and make it impossible to pretend that you are anything other than who you are when no one else is around.
lately, i have been thinking a lot about the children that i have made connections with over the years and the encounters that left me changed forever. those memories have been rising to the surface after many years of being buried deep in my heart. some things seem too precious to share and others too painful. i am learning so much about myself here and i thought i had that figured out. dwelling on these memories has been good for my heart. i have realized that most of my closest friends now have never even heard these stories.
here is one of my favorites from my trip to Romania in 1992:
George was one of the critical cases among those children I met in the hospital for
infectious diseases in Constanta, Romania who were HIV+. He was very disturbed and confined to a crib. He had hit himself so many times in the same spots on his head and face that he had sores. They said, nothing would console him. During my time there, we as a team would pray and worship together everyday at lunchtime. We began to pray for George and over the weeks I was there, the peace of God came over him at times. The first time I visited him I was by myself and when I came in the room he was sitting up in the crib and hitting himself as he did. At twenty I didn’t have much experience with this and wasn’t sure how to handle it. Whenever I find myself in that position I cry out to God even if it is silently and ask for help. As I did that on the day I met George, songs began to come out of me. I was very insecure at that time in my life and never sang in public, but it just came over me. George, according to the nurses, had never been able to rest or relax since he had been there. I don’t even remember the songs I sang to him, but as I sang, the intervals between blows to his head got longer until eventually he stopped. Keeping his big brown eyes on me the whole time, he slowly moved his way down onto the mat. By the time I finished, George had put his head down and fallen asleep. I left the room and went to play with some of the other kids outside. Soon, one of the nurses came to find me and asked what I did to George. She said, we have never seen him sleep.
i am gathering more stories here and will be sharing more on the work in Muzoka soon. things have slowed down for now and i will have a bit of a break over the holidays. thanks to all who have been praying. the rains have been good and if it continues this way, the harvest will be plentiful.
i have been agonizing over this and feel it hanging over my head like i do when i haven't written in my journal or picked up my guitar enough. i have put pressure on myself, as i do, knowing that people want to see pictures and hear stories. in the end, i give into what you must learn in a place like this...less really is more and things that used to seem important just don't matter. life is stripped down here, enough for me to see it for what it really is and care about the things that count.
a friend, whose writing has had a profound impact on my life, gave this advice to me,
"write without editing. write about anything. write with no minimum or maximum expectation." this is a challenge for my anal, perfectionist, daughter of an English teacher self. for the first time in my life i have been sending emails without proofreading them...that is a big deal for me. writing has always been a good outlet, but i find it hard to just lay my heart out there for the whole world to see. it's getting easier.
so, here it is, what has been happening with me; unedited, not planned out, just as it comes.
i have finally started to settle into the lifestyle here in such a way that it feels easier. i am realizing that frustration is something we choose, not something that is forced upon us. it's a choice, like every other ugly attitude that has raised its head in me since i've been here. this is definitely one way to find out what is really in your heart. there is no place to hide from it here and nothing to cover it up. it's all on the surface, because it takes energy to wrestle those monsters down and keep them hidden inside. the daily tasks of living here sap all of that energy and make it impossible to pretend that you are anything other than who you are when no one else is around.
lately, i have been thinking a lot about the children that i have made connections with over the years and the encounters that left me changed forever. those memories have been rising to the surface after many years of being buried deep in my heart. some things seem too precious to share and others too painful. i am learning so much about myself here and i thought i had that figured out. dwelling on these memories has been good for my heart. i have realized that most of my closest friends now have never even heard these stories.
here is one of my favorites from my trip to Romania in 1992:
George was one of the critical cases among those children I met in the hospital for
infectious diseases in Constanta, Romania who were HIV+. He was very disturbed and confined to a crib. He had hit himself so many times in the same spots on his head and face that he had sores. They said, nothing would console him. During my time there, we as a team would pray and worship together everyday at lunchtime. We began to pray for George and over the weeks I was there, the peace of God came over him at times. The first time I visited him I was by myself and when I came in the room he was sitting up in the crib and hitting himself as he did. At twenty I didn’t have much experience with this and wasn’t sure how to handle it. Whenever I find myself in that position I cry out to God even if it is silently and ask for help. As I did that on the day I met George, songs began to come out of me. I was very insecure at that time in my life and never sang in public, but it just came over me. George, according to the nurses, had never been able to rest or relax since he had been there. I don’t even remember the songs I sang to him, but as I sang, the intervals between blows to his head got longer until eventually he stopped. Keeping his big brown eyes on me the whole time, he slowly moved his way down onto the mat. By the time I finished, George had put his head down and fallen asleep. I left the room and went to play with some of the other kids outside. Soon, one of the nurses came to find me and asked what I did to George. She said, we have never seen him sleep.
i am gathering more stories here and will be sharing more on the work in Muzoka soon. things have slowed down for now and i will have a bit of a break over the holidays. thanks to all who have been praying. the rains have been good and if it continues this way, the harvest will be plentiful.
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